In the Light of Dawn
by honeybee1313
Summary: Dawn becomes independent and strays from her sister Buffy and her friends. Set in early Season Six, before the Buffy/Spike romance. Fiction.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Independence

_My sister, the Slayer. It gets so tiring after a while, hearing Buffy's name all over town. It seems like everyone knows her. She's funny, she's decent-looking, and she can totally kick butt. Her friends are always over, talking about stuff that they think I don't know about, like dead bodies and lesbians. Xander, Willow, even Spike, they all depend on her to, like, save the world again and again. And I'm just the Slayer's little sister who needs to be looked after and protected from evil. Buffy's showed me how to use a few weapons, like stakes, but I'm not allowed ten feet near the advanced training things. Thye say I whine a lot, but really… I just miss the old Buffy. I wish we could be like sisters again, without her having to play mom. _

Dawn closed her diary, then stuck it under her mattress. After dropping her pink highlighter pen onto her desk, she went over to her closet and began the daily search for a decent outfit. Feeling rebellious, she chose a skimpy white tank top with a low cut that dove down her neck and chest with a pair of tight, low-slung denim jeans.

When her outfit was assembled, she hastily squeezed into it. The ambiance of the outfit gave her an idea. Today she would start living the real life. After all, Buffy could go out partying all night with no excuse and totally get away with it.

Grabbing her makeup bag, Dawn headed to the bathroom. On her eyes she applied a smoky shade of deep blue with undertones of silver and gray. Dark liner and mascara, with maroon lips. She let her hair fall over her shoulders and down her back. A new Dawn looked back through half-mast eyelids. She liked it.

Grabbing Buffy's leather jacket off a chair as she headed for the front door, Dawn felt enlightened. Free. She could do whatever she wanted, and she had a whole lifetime to do it. The Slyer couldn't control her anymore, couldn't keep her on a leash like a dog. It was time she became independent. And she knew exactly where to start.

Spike answered the door to his crypt on the second knock. He wore black jeans and a T-shirt, and a cigarette peeked out of the corner of his mouth.

"Nibblet. What do you want?" He muttered lazily. Dawn saw alcohol bottles on his coffee table, explaining his drunken attitude. Perfect.

"Hi, Spike." She replied. "Can I come in?" The vampire made a dizzy sweep of his arm into the cave-like home, thus inviting her inside.

"Did Buffy send you?" He mumbled, slurring. She shook her head.

"No. I came alone. Because I wanted to." She turned the corner of her mouth up in what she hoped looked like a sophisticated smirk. Spike repositioned himself on the worn-down couch, a beer in his hand.

"Well, sit down if you want. _Passions_ is on." He grunted as he moved to make room for Dawn to sit.

"Thanks. Hey, Spike?" Dawn began.

"Yeah, Nibblet?"

"Can I… Can I have a beer?" Dawn tried to sound confident, like she'd been drinking forever. Spike glanced drunkenly at her.

"Take whatever you want, Bit. As long as it's okay with…" Dawn was glad his slurring drowned out the last word. No more Buffy. She was fine without the Slayer watching over her every moment.

Reaching out, she took an unopened beer bottle off the coffee table and popped the cap open. Settling in next to Spike, she took a long swig. As the liquid washed through her body, she felt comfortable. Independent. As she leaned against the vampire's shoulder, all thoughts of her sister were washed from her mind. From now on it was all good.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: _**_Of course, I do not own any of Joss Whedon and crew's characters, or anything else of the kind. _

**_Author's Note:_**_I didn't include an author's note on the first chapter, so here's both chapters in one. This story is completely canon, and the chapters are short. I made it this way so a) I don't have to stick to the story that Joss Whedon and his crew dreamed up and b) people who don't have a lot of time can read the chapters when they have a few minutes. In order for this story to be properly appreciated it will have to be read all the way through, so please don't stop after one or two chapters. Please R&R!_

Tasting Danger

"Watch this." Spike gestured toward the TV screen. Dawn followed his hand with her eyes. Everything was spinning too fast, and the image on the screen looked like nothing but a blur of colors, but she laughed anyway. Spike leaned over with a groan, clumsily swiping his fingers across the coffee table in search of another drink. His hand found a familiar-looking clear bottle, and he poured its contents into the two glasses on the table.

Dawn took hers immediately and downed the alcohol. She'd had enough drinks that she no longer had to squint at the sharp taste of it. Her body was still slumped against Spike's side, and she inched closer.

"Let's go out. We can go to… the Bronze. Or… Somewhere else." She slurred. The vampire glanced at her.

"What have you got in mind, Pet?" Dawn smiled at his words and craned her neck until it reached his shoulder. He smelled like cigarettes and alcohol. Intoxicating.

"Wherever you want." Dawn closed her eyes, then added. "I'm free."

Spike looked confused at her words, but got to his feet. After finding his balance, he helped Dawn up. Her head felt like it would overflow with dizziness, and her feet couldn't find their balance. She leaned on the vampire for steadiness.

"Here, Bit." Spike handed her a worn leather coat. Dawn knew it was his own, because she'd seen him wear it numerous times. She threw the one she'd taken from Buffy onto the couch and slung the new one over her shoulders. It felt good, and she smiled. Then she got an idea.

Taking hold of Spike's arm, she reeled him in until they were face to face. Controlled by the amount of alcohol she's just consumed, she pressed her lips to his. It wasn't a passionate kiss or a kiss of true love, just a drunken embrace, but it felt good. Dawn tasted cigarettes and alcohol on his lips, and they soon filled her own mouth with bitterness. The vampire she was kissing seemed confused, drunk, but he didn't pull away, so she didn't either. It was nice to just let go of herself.

The kiss ended, and Dawn wiped lipstick from the corners of her mouth. The smoky taste remained in her mouth, intoxicating and delicious.

"That felt good." She breathed. Despite the fact that she wasn't attracted to Spike (and he wasn't to her), she wanted more. She wanted to feel danger, to taste it. So Dawn felt herself longing for another kiss.

"Yeah," Spike agreed. He took a swig from the large bottle on the coffee table, then offered it to Dawn. She smiled and took it, downing its entire contents. She felt lightheaded and sick, and wished she hadn't. But when the vampire took a step toward her, the nausea was gone. Their lips met again in another meaningless embrace. Dawn, lips still locked with his, sat down on the couch, too dizzy to stand. Something was different.

Then she felt it. A wave of sickness washed over her, and she knew she had to break the kiss. Pushing back with all of her strength, she managed to get Spike's attention. He sat back, letting her off the couch. Dawn ran down the dank tunnel into the next room, where she bent over and threw up. Bile and alcohol covered the floor around her, and her stomach was on fire. Spike came in just as the second round came on. He watched as she heaved violently. Then, surprisingly, he knelt beside her.

"Feels like hell." He commented. Dawn forced her legs to work, and she stood up shakily.

"Can I stay here?" She asked, almost sober.

"Whatever you want, Pet." Spike grinned, revealing his sharp canines. Dawn felt a surge of gratitude course through her, along with the still-lingering taste of cigarette smoke.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I'm not stealing these characters from the BTVS crew! Or the plot! **_

**_Author's note: This chapter is sort of a path I needed to go on to get to the next twist in the story. It moves the plot on, while at the same time developing a trust between the characters. Please R&R! _**

Hangover

Morning came with a splitting headache. Dawn groaned, nearly falling off the couch. Steadying herself, she realized that the bottles were gone off the coffee table, and the disgusting odor her vomit had filled the crypt with was gone.

Apparently, Spike had slept on the floor. A rough blanket covered her now-awake body, and despite the stains on her clothes the vomit was cleaned off her face and hair. It was completely dark, not giving away that outside it was broad daylight. Dawn rolled ungracefully off the couch and glanced around. She heard rustling from below and went to see. Her feet shuffled across the dirt, sending small dust storms into the air.

"Spike?" She called. A bleached blonde head appeared from the hole in the ground that led down to the maze of tunnels.

"Oh, Bit. You're up." He pulled himself up out of the hole and got to his feet.

"Thanks, Spike." Dawn said, feeling eternally grateful to the vampire.

"You're welcome," He brushed the dirt off his black shirt, then pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. "Take one?"

Dawn smiled. "No, thanks." She had no intention of ruining her lungs, no matter how tempting the offer was. "Hey, Spike?"

"Yeah?" He blew out a coil of smoke.

"Can I change?"

"Sure." He brought her bag from near the door and handed it to her.

"Um…" Dawn waited for him to leave.

"Oh, right. Sorry, Bit." He turned his back and inhaled, then let out the smoke. Dawn took a pair of jeans out from the bottom of the bag, then an emerald shirt with a peephole in the middle of the chest. Like the other outfits she'd taken, it showed off lots of skin. After stripping down to her underwear and bra, Dawn slipped the outfit on and fastened the button at the top of her jeans. Spike turned around, as if he knew she was done.

After applying fresh makeup, Dawn slung her bag over one shoulder.

"Spike, I have to go, but thanks for everything. Also…" She paused, wondering if she should tell the vampire that she was rebelling. "I don't… live with Buffy anymore." She waited for his reaction.

"What?" Spike looked confused. "Oh, yeah. You're being independent. I figured you would, eventually. You always seemed like the type to… Anyway, congratulations."

Dawn frowned at his words. "Well, thanks." She started toward the door, then stopped and turned around. "Spike, about last night, I'm sorry. I was drunk and—"

"I know, Pet. No worries." He grinned and took a long drag on his cigarette.

"I'm not… leaving or anything. I'll still be in town and all. Just…" Dawn sighed. "Please don't tell Buffy. I just want some time." She looked at him with pleading eyes.

"I won't snitch," Spike said in a mocking voice. "I'll be here. You'll do good, Bit."

Dawn smiled, feeling a rush of affection for the vampire. Somehow she knew he was going to take care of her, no matter where she was.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer:** Of course, I do not own ANY of the BTVS characters, plots, or anything else someone could think of to turn this story into a copyrighting crime. I'm clean. _

_**Author's Note:** Let's touch upon the topic of reviews (R&R Read and Review in case you didn't know). First I'd like to say that I do appreciate any review greatly, but the ones I appreciate even more are the ones that help me. It's called constructive criticism, and every author needs a bit of it. So please, instead of writing 'cool, more soon' (although I can't really say it's bad to get some of those once in a while), please give me suggestions that will help me write better in the future. But, despite everything I just wrote, I do love any review, so thanks to all the reviewers. Okay, now back to the story. Remember, R&R! _

FIRST SIGHT

It was cold. Dawn pulled Buffy's leather jacket tighter around her shoulders and winced as a gust of wind hit her face. Her bare midriff pressed against the leather, half-frozen. She headed for a nearby bench and sat down. Opening her bag, Dawn pulled out her wallet. She had some money saved up, but not enough to do anything with.

Staring blankly at the assortment of bills, Dawn sighed. It was time to move. After sticking her wallet safely back into the bag, she heaved herself to her feet. She was headed to the nearest hotel, the Sunnydale Motel.

Seven blocks later she was there, and even the half-lit-up VACANCY sign was welcoming. Pushing open the door that led to the registration desk, Dawn grunted. The cold had made her joints stiff, and the hangover wasn't helping. With her bag over one shoulder, she approached the man behind the desk.

"Can I help you?" He asked, looking up.

"Um, yeah. I need a room for tonight, tomorrow night, and um… The week."

"What size?"

"Uh, the smallest one you have." Dawn replied.

"Single…" The man muttered, entering the information into the computer.

"Excuse me, how much per night does it cost?" Dawn queried.

"For the single, sixty bucks." The man replied, his eyes still locked on the computer. Dawn nodded, doing the math in her head. She could afford it, but just barely, and without a job she didn't see money in her future.

After a few minutes of silence, the man handed her a paper with the room information and the costs printed on it, along with a plastic room key. Dawn folded the paper, than stashed it in her bag.

"Thanks." She said as she headed for the room.

Number sixty-three was located on the far side of the motel. The door was a dull mint green with a large six and a three stenciled on in a pastel purple color. Dawn stuck the plastic key into the slot, and after a beep the lock popped open and she turned the handle and walked in.

It was a small room with only a bed, a TV, and a microwave. A table with one chair sat in a corner, and the bathroom was a nook in the wall with a toilet, a shower, a sliding door, and a sink. Dawn gazed around the room, her new living space for the next week.

After a few minutes of 'moving in', she stripped down and hopped in the shower. The hot water ran out after a few minutes, so she dried her hair and wrapped a towel around her hips. There was a sliding door that led out to a porch, which looked out onto (big surprise) one of Sunnydale's many graveyards. After deciding it was safe to go out without covering her chest (you don't see many people wandering around graveyards), Dawn pushed open the sliding door and headed onto the patio. Next thing she knew she was looking into a pair of dark eyes.

It took her a moment to digest the fact that there was someone on the patio staring at her naked boobs with a smirk on his face that seemed all too demony. Yes, he was definitely a vampire.

Dawn squealed, fumbling to cover her chest. "Get away from me!"

He smiled wider. Dawn stared at his inky eyes and felt a shiver run through her body. She was somehow… attracted to him. Yes, there was a vampire looking at her uncovered chest, but he was a very hot vampire, and… no way. He was still a demon, and he wasn't even bothering to look away or acknowledging Dawn's words. Tearing her terror-filled eyes away from his, Dawn fumbled inside, shutting the door to the patio. She quickly pulled the clothes she had worn earlier on and stumbled outside once again.

"Who are you and what do you want?" She asked in a fear-choked voice. The vampire reached inside the front pocket of his jeans and brought out a large wad of folded money. Dawn, angry and confused, looked closer at the stack of bills. When she saw how much money he was holding she inhaled sharply in surprise and amazement.

"It's time to go, but don't worry, I'll be back." The vampire watched Dawn's confused face with amusement, then pulled a wad of bills away from the thick roll he held. "Here's something to hold you over." He tossed the money at Dawn, then sprinted across the graveyard and out of sight. Dawn collected the money and counted it, still shocked.

"Oh my God. Three hundred thousand… dollars." She said meekly to herself.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the BTVS crew's work. _

_**Author's Note: **I was hesitant on the way this chapter should turn out, but I've finally made a decision (which, conveniently, is also the name of the chapter!). Tell me if you like it or not. Read and review, review, review! _

DECISION

Dawn sat on her bed with her head in her hands, still gripping the money with white knuckles. Her mind was racing. What could she do with three hundred thousand dollars? A lot. But should she? Was it wrong to use the money? Did it even matter? She sighed with frustration.

"I sound like Buffy." She said aloud. The name brought a pang of guilt and longing, and for a moment Dawn wished she could go back to her sister and friends and forget about being independent. It was a battle between rational and irrational, but the latter finally won. Hell, she was holding three hundred thousand bucks in her hands with a whole world surrounding her.

Dawn finished unpacking and stuffed the money into a small purse she'd brought, along with a stake she'd stolen from Buffy's weapon chest, her cell phone, a pack of gum, her room key, and an assortment of makeup. After pulling on her shoes, she headed out.

The bus station was cold and crowded. Dawn leaned against the side of the small shelter and observed the other people waiting for the bus station. There was Punk Guy, who was obviously with Gwen Stefani Wannabe because they were hideously making out (his lip ring was painted red by her shockingly bright lipstick). Sitting next to them was College Boy, with his head stuffed into a physics book. Next to Dawn was the family of five, with Overwhelmed Mom, Too Macho to Change a Diaper Dad, Screaming Baby, Screaming Toddler, and Whining Child.

Dawn waited silently, confused and disoriented. The image of the vampire earlier wouldn't leave her mind, and she wanted to know more. She was terrified, yet intrigued, and as much as it disgusted her, she felt a magnetic pull to him. She was positive and he was negative; they were drawn to each other. But why? Dawn knew she hated him, and just the mental picture she'd created caused a wave of nausea and fear every time she saw it. So why should this vampire mean so much to her? This was more than she'd ever felt, stronger than any crush she'd ever had. But it wasn't love, either. Definitely not.

The bus pulled up, and Dawn made her way up the three steps and to a seat toward the back. She had a long wait, maybe an hour. The smartest place to go would be the shopping center in the next town over, because all Sunnydale had was a row of fast food restaurants and some run-down secondhand shops. Dawn thought about what she needed to get and decided on first buying the necessities. When the bus finally pulled up near the shopping center, the entire spree was planned out.

The shopping center was actually a bunch of outlets, so Dawn headed for the first one in sight. After purchasing an assortment of jeans, she headed for the nearest Macy's. She needed to get something cheap if she wanted to be able to afford a home.

Once she was inside a sign hanging overhead caught her eye and reminded her of something she had almost forgotten; underwear. The pair she was wearing was old, and she realized how gross it would be to live for another day like this. Dawn browsed through racks of hanging underwear and bras, fingering skimpy lingerie skeptically. After a few minutes of searching, she found that she could not leave the store without purchasing at least one of the see-through, lacy garments. She was attracted to a lacy black one in particular, so she draped it on top of the pile of clothes already hung over her arm. There was also a bra that caught her eye, and she leaned over to examine it closer. When she stood up with it dangling from her fingers, Dawn almost screamed at what she saw.

Standing over her and chuckling slightly was the dark-haired vampire she'd seen on the hotel balcony.

"What are you doing here? Who are you?" Dawn squeaked out, breathless.

"I see you're putting the money to good use." He commented, eyeing the black lacy thing in her arms. Dawn felt a blush rise to her already-hot cheeks.

"Leave me alone. I know what you are." Dawn threatened, shifting her weight to the other foot.

"Really? Not too much of a surprise. The Slayer's sister…" Dawn grunted. Of course, even the damn stalker demon knew Buffy. But before she could fume any longer, the vampire spoke again. "But she's not the one I've been looking for, is she?" It was as if he was replying to her thoughts.

"Me? Why?" Dawn murmured weakly.

"You're the one I'm seeking." His voice came again, lower this time, and rough. The words haunted Dawn, but at the same time she longed to hear them again.

"I don't understand." She didn't know why she trying to reason with this stranger, but it came naturally.

"You will. I'll show you." And then he beckoned, she wanted to follow more than anything else in her entire life. She wanted to know, wanted to see.

"Just let me buy these clothes." The decision was made.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Disclaimer: _**_Many characters and some of this storyline belongs solely to the BTVS crew and Joss Whedon. _

_**Author's Note: **Think it's too short? Like it? Hate it? Have a suggestion? Please REVIEW!! _

INTO THE DARK

_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine…_ Dawn counted her footsteps silently. She was confused. She wanted to look up, to see him, but her eyes were glued to the ground. It was still cold, but her body was immune to feeling. A strange haze filled her mind, blocking out thoughts of everything and everyone but the vampire. He stood out crystal clear in her foggy mind, his black eyes glistening, too dark to define iris from pupil. Every so often those black eyes would focus on her, and she would look up from her feet into their shining depths, wishing she could solve the mystery behind them.

Minutes passed, but all Dawn could think of was him. Nothing else mattered, not her friends, not Buffy, not even her mother. When a blurry image of Joyce's body, pale and motionless under the white sheet, entered her mind, only a tiny pang shot through her heart, nothing more, and soon the thought had vanished completely.

What seemed like moments later, the vampire slowed, allowing Dawn to catch up to him, and then stopped. It took her a while to realize that they had halted, and when she did it didn't make much of a difference. She took the hand he held out to her, feeling a jolt run through her body at the touch of his skin. Then they were walking, down a steep staircase, their hands held tightly together, and then it was dark.


	7. Chapter 7

TEMPTATION: the act of tempting or the state of being tempted especially to evil: enticement

…_And so it has corrupted many._

-Anonymous-


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing Joss Whedon or the BTVS crew thought of. **_

**_Author's Note: This chapter was hard to write, so please give me feedback. R&R, and give me ideas! Also, i love to write side-stories (containing little bit of information I didn't include in the chapter), so if you want details, let me know! _**

WAKING UP

For so long there was nothing and everything. She was surrounded in a cocoon of senses, but she could not see, smell, taste, hear, or feel. She was aware of the entire world, every living being and a handful of dead ones, but the billions of voices in her head were drowned out, far away. Everything was around her, but nothing existed in the place of nothing. Even she was just another mind, swirling uselessly around the border of this magnificent _nothing_. It was pure, untouched happiness, but also misery. It went on forever, and just when she felt as if she would lose herself forever (and was also beginning to want to)…

Dawn was waking up. She could feel it, feeling returning to her body. It was slow, but eventually her mind thawed out of the frozen state it was in and she was conscious once again. Her eyelids fluttered a few times before finally opening, and she took the time to inhale deeply. She could recognize the smell of dirt, like a cave or… The thought was lost when a wave of sleepiness washed over Dawn. It was strange that she was tired, as she'd just been sleeping for what seemed like forever. She yawned and stretched quickly, and then sat up on the large, comfortable bed she was on.

Something slammed into her head, crashing through the barrier of happiness. Dawn fell sideways on the bed, feeling her eyes roll back into her head. There was no physical pain, only mental agony, searing her brain until it felt like there was nothing left but a hollow skull. But Dawn could still think, and now she could remember. The invisible attack on her mind had been memories, forcing their way back into her brain. Now the pain was gone, but Dawn wished it would come back to distract her from remembering everything.

Her eyes filled quickly, and overflowed just as quickly as the past weeks came back to her. This time it wasn't a demon, it wasn't an apocalypse, it was just Dawn. She was the one who did it, not some monster. She hated herself mostly because there was no going back, no undoing the past.

Shoving the sheets away, Dawn looked down at herself. She was wearing an expensive silk bra and underwear set, nothing else. Fighting back the urge to regurgitate, she threw herself off the bed, scrambling for something to wear. She grabbed a robe from the corner of the room and yanked it on, choking out breaths through her tears. There was nowhere to go, she realized. She was alone. The hotel had probably thrown away her stuff after her checkout date, so all she had was a shopping bag of jeans and maybe one shirt. But she couldn't stay, not here. She was out the door, running toward the only place she could possibly go.

The graveyard was wet with dew from the night before, still hanging on blades of grass and the occasional tree leaf. Dawn stumbled toward Spike's crypt blindly, her vision blurred by tears. She was angry, but mostly afraid, afraid of Spike's reaction, afraid of herself. Forcing open the rusty door to the underground crypt, Dawn had to use all of her strength to keep from breaking down right then. Her bare feet made almost no noise on the dirt-covered cement, but it was strange Spike didn't hear her coming, especially with such uneven gasps in the place of breaths. Dawn felt her entire body shudder so violently she almost fell over. Her feet touched the solid dirt, signaling that she had reached the bottom of the staircase. She looked around with red-streaked eyes, searching for Spike.

Continuing farther into the dank room, Dawn wondered if she even deserved Spike's help. Should she turn back? She didn't want to, and she knew she'd end up killing herself of something, so she walked the few remaining yards into the 'bedroom', which was separated from the rest of the place by a half-wall of dirt.

Turning the corner, Dawn saw movement in the dirty sheets and sighed with relief. He was here, and he could help her. She was going to get through it.

But Spike had seen her, too, and the look in his eyes wasn't relief. "Dawn, get out of here," his voice was hard. "NOW!"

Dawn stepped backward, confused and hurt. His yell had torn the last thread of hope she'd had. She was about to turn and run, but there was movement in the sheets next to Spike. A blonde head came up, followed by a pale, muscular body. The familiar face was weary, almost aged.

"Buffy…" Dawn choked on the word. Spike untangled himself from Buffy and started toward Dawn, but she was already running, up into the sunlight where she knew he couldn't follow.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer: **I own nothing that the BTVS crew made up! _

_**Author's Note: **Debating whether to keep this chapter or not. Feedback, please! I'M SERIOUS! PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK! Thanks for reading, and (as always) R&R! _

Rock Bottom

Dawn huddled in the bushes bordering the graveyard, surrounded by various shrubs. It was all she could do to gasp for breath between sobs. There was nothing that could happen to make the situation worse. She had hit rock bottom and wasn't coming up any time soon.

Briefly, an image of the mysterious vampire appeared in her head. Through some sick connection, she felt a little zap of electricity go through her body at the sight of him. It was then that she lost control of her body. It happened so quickly she didn't even feel it coming, but before she knew it she was covered in vomit. Her ribs seared with pain as her stomach heaved again. She sat for a few minutes, miserable, until she had no energy left. Lying down on the leaves and dirt, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

XXX

When she finally had the strength to pry her eyelids open, Dawn saw that the sky had changed from blue to black. Her hair had fallen into the vomit, and her stomach was weak. Her throat burned with thirst, and there was nothing but bile in her stomach. After nearly ten minutes, she hauled herself up into a sitting position and looked around. While she was sleeping she had rolled out of the bush, and was now clearly visible.

A few feet away there was a jacket, sweatpants, and a shirt , a sandwich, and a cup of water arranged neatly on the grass. Dawn could guess who'd put them there, but she didn't care. Who gave a crap if Spike of Buffy wanted her to come back? She was starving, and she was going to eat any food that was shoved at her.

Half crawling, half dragging herself across the grass, Dawn made her way to the arrangement with as much energy as she had left. When she reached it, she picked up the sandwich with shaking hands and hungrily devoured it. After emptying the cup of water, she stripped down to her bra and underwear, throwing the vomit-covered robe onto the wet grass beside her, and slipped into the comfortable clothes that had been left for her. It was definitely warmer and more comfortable, and for just one moment Dawn had a tiny light of hope; things just might be a little bit better for the first time in three weeks. But then the hope was shattered. Whirling around, Dawn turned to face Buffy, fully clothed once again.

"You—" Buffy cut her off.

"Dawn. Tell me what happened." The Slayer's voice was rough and it cracked when she said her sister's name.

"You slut! I hate you!" Dawn cried. Buffy's eyes filled, but she didn't cry.

"Dawnie, please! You have no idea what—" Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

"I have no idea what you're going through?" Dawn shot back. "Things were so bad you went to Spike for alleviation? Well, it looked like you two were doing a little more than sharing your sins. You—"

"It was the only thing that made the pain go away." Buffy's voice was barely audible. When Dawn saw her face, she looked broken. For a second, she felt bad, but then she took hold of herself.

"If we're talking about painful, I think I have a lot more discussion topics than you." Her tone was as icy as she wanted it to be. "I'm pregnant."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Note: **Sorry this chapter took so long... It's longer than the others and I have a LOT of schoolwork that prioritizes over BTVS Fanfics. Sorry! Tell me what you think... Are the characters realistic? What do you think Dawn should do about the baby (abortion, birth...)? Send me all of your thoughts, ideas, etc. _

Explanations

The shout seemed to linger forever, like the ring of a bell against the silent night. Dawn sat, staring at the sky. She felt calm now, like she'd just needed to get it all out. But it wasn't all out yet, she realized. Buffy still didn't know half the story. But a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and too many tears had been shed already, so Dawn was silent.

After a few minutes, Buffy opened her mouth to speak. "Oh my god." She whispered. "How…" Her face was pale, illuminated by the moon. Dawn didn't know what to say. She didn't want to tell her sister anything else.

"Where's Spike?" She hadn't thought of this before. Buffy didn't answer immediately. Finally, she sighed.

"I thought… I didn't think you'd want to see him just now. After what you saw, I…" She inhaled sharply. "Dawnie—"

Dawn cut her off. "Don't call me that."

Buffy looked hurt, but continued. "Dawn," She emphasized the word. "Nothing you saw was… real. I would never… with him. He… he makes me sick. It's disgusting. He's a vampire." Her tone had changed. She no longer sounded helpless, but angry, disgusted.

"I can't believe you. How you treat him, it's just… I can't believe what you can do! It's not him, it's you. You just go to him for… I don't know what you think you're doing, but it's your fault! Everything was real, so stop telling me it wasn't! Now, answer my question. Where is he?" Dawn felt her voice getting louder and louder as she continued. Her entire body was shaking with rage. Buffy wore an angry expression.

"Dawn, you think you can just run off without telling anyone, hide for three weeks, and then come back and expect everyone to welcome you with open arms? You don't know what it was like. I didn't know if you were dead, lost… Nobody knew what to do. Willow, she cried for four days straight when she heard you were gone. Xander spent the weekend putting up posters, contacting the police. We tried everything we knew of. But nothing worked. I was scared, Dawn. I was terrified, more than I've ever been. I couldn't stick a stake in this problem, couldn't kill it. I had to live with it, and that was more than I could take. When I was with Spike, it wasn't because I wanted pleasure. It was because I needed something to numb the pain, even if it was just for a little while. I couldn't live with you gone, Dawn." Now she was crying again.

"But you didn't have to hurt him." Dawn replied icily. She left Buffy, running toward the door to Spike's crypt. When she headed down the stairs, she saw the vampire lying on the bed. It was as if he hadn't moved since she had first come storming in.

"Spike," She whispered. She couldn't say any more.

"Hey, bit," He spoke just as quietly. "You probably want to stake me, now."

"What?" She was confused.

"I said, you probably want to stake me now, after what you say me doing. Can't blame you. I would. I do." He looked down.

"Spike, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what you're talking about." Dawn took a few steps closer.

"Come on. You just walked in on me and your big Slayer sister in bed. Don't tell me you're not scarred for life. I couldn't help it. When she came in here, crying 'cause she thought you were dead… It just happened. When it was over she ran out, like I did something wrong. But she came back. She always did. It took me a few times to realize that she was using me, and by that time I didn't care. She hated herself for it, I knew. But we couldn't stop. For her, it was like a pain medication. You hate it, but you gotta keep taking it to stay numb. And whatever I tried to make of it… it could never work. But to have you see me… you should hate me." Spike sighed. "Look away, pet."

Dawn averted her eyes as he stepped out of the bed. She heard him pulling his pants on, the clanking metal of his belt. "Safe?" She asked when the noise stopped.

She heard him pause. "Yeah, pet." Dawn turned around. He was standing in his black denim jeans, with no shirt. On his face there was a small, sad smile.

"I don't hate you, Spike. You've done so much for me, and you haven't done anything wrong. She was using you. Like you said, you were her pain medication. It wasn't your fault. No matter how much I can't deal with you and Buffy… I don't hate you." Dawn's voice was barely audible. She looked up and saw that his eyes were glistening.

"You should." His voice was rough.

"No. I can't."

A silence stretched between them, and Dawn felt awkward. Then he broke it. "Where were you?"

Dawn sighed. "I'd been seeing this vampire. He… he came to my hotel room and was in the graveyard near the porch. When I went shopping, he was there. I followed him out of the store, and he took me to…" It was so hard to remember. "He brought me to his home. It was underground—just like yours. Then…" She choked on the tears that had suddenly appeared. In seconds she was sobbing. Spike was next to her in a split second.

"What's wrong?" He sounded panicked. After a few more moments, his voice was calm again. "Dawn, I need you to tell me what happened."

"No!" She wailed.

"Dawn, you have to tell me."

"I can't!" Her voice cracked.

"Dawn!" He grabbed her shoulders and shook her violently. "Tell me!"

"He—we—I'm pregnant!" She gasped. A look of shock was plastered onto Spike's face, and he stepped back.

"How? You said he was a vampire!" Spike demanded, awed.

"I don't know. Well, yes, I do. He drank something -- I thought it was alcohol or something -- and then he gave me the bottle and we drank it all. Then we… You know. And he kept leaving. He would come back, but I just stayed in bed. It was three weeks. That's how long. And then I just woke up, like I was in a trance or something. At first I didn't remember, but then I remembered everything. Everything we did, and it hurt so badly. I felt like I did after we drank all that alcohol here… a few weeks ago. I came here, and I saw you and Buffy in bed, and then I ran out to the bushes and threw up a lot. Somehow I fell asleep, and when I woke up Buffy was there. Why weren't you?"

"I didn't think you'd want me there. Simple as that." Spike shrugged. "How do you know you got knocked up?"

Dawn put a hand to her stomach. "I can feel it. It's moving all the time. And I actually have a bump… I don't know how; it couldn't have gotten this big even if it did happen at the beginning of the three weeks. You just can't see it through the robe. And I've felt nauseous since I left his place. Spike, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what, Bit? The way you tell it we're even. You and me, we both did something wrong. But you're the one who's suffering the consequences."

Dawn thought silently for a minute. Her stomach hurt, and she wanted to lie down. She was sure Buffy had left long ago, to go back and tell the gang that she was all right. "I don't know," She finally replied. "I guess it's because I'm going to ask you another favor, and you've done so much for me already."

"Anything, Pet."

"Can I sleep here tonight?" Dawn bit her lip after she realized what she'd just said. How rude could she be? All he'd ever done for her was help, and she just kept taking advantage of that. But before she could change her mind, he answered.

"Yeah," Spike's tone was surprising—it was like he was glad. "Sure, Bit. You can take the bed." Dawn closed her eyes with relief.

"Thanks, Spike. So much."

"Let's cut with the sentimental crap, right? And about you being pregnant… Well, I guess it can't be that bad. There's always a way out." He smirked. "I'll even make the bed for you. Figure you'll want it clean."

She waited while he piled the sheets onto the floor and replaced them with another mound of fabric. When he was done, she climbed into the inviting bed.

"Thanks."

"'Night, Pet. See you in the morning." She closed her eyes to the familiar sound of his voice and rested for the first time in three weeks.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Author's Note:** Spawn chapter... let me know if you like it! Please R&R!_

Dawn slept for three days. Spike watched her the entire time. Her chest rose and fell with each breath, and her eyes remained peacefully shut. Sometimes she would move in her sleep, even talk. The mumbles didn't bother him, though. He watched her with as much interest as he would have when watching a brawl between Angelus and Buffy. Then she finally woke up.

"Spike?" She muttered. Her hair was falling into her eyes, and she pushed it away with a tired hand.

"Hey, Bit." He replied, helping her out of bed. Her forehead was sweaty from the heat of the bed, but she appeared to be fine overall.

"I feel so much better." She commented.

"You sure got enough rest." Spike chuckled.

"Sorry about that. I was so tired! How long have I been sleeping?"

"Three days, now."

"Really? Oh my God! I'm so sorry!"

"For what? Hey, aren't you hungry?"

"Famished," Dawn admitted. "Hey, Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have any extra clothes? I can't stay in this bathrobe forever." She looked uncomfortable asking. He smiled to himself. Bit was blushing.

"Yep. Let me see…" He rifled through a pile of jeans and shirts in the corner.

"Thanks," She said when he handed her a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that looked way too big. "Don't look."

She started to walk away to change, but tripped on a root. Tumbling to the ground, she felt herself smack against Spike, taking him down with her. They both landed on the dirt with a dull _thud_. Dawn opened her eyes, which she'd shut tightly when she realized she was falling. Spike was on top of her, looking at her strangely. His usually blue eyes were blazing a strange golden color, and he looked hungry. She opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong, but before she could form a word he had pressed his lips to hers in a fiery kiss. Dawn kissed him back. She pushed her lips against his as hard as she could, almost bruising. He grabbed her shoulders, violently moving his mouth against hers. She felt his hands move down, matching the curves of her body, stopping when they reached her waist. Now they were so closer her hands couldn't move from their position on her lap.

"Spike," She breathed into his mouth. "Let my hands out…" He arched his back, and she moved her arms so that they wrapped around his body tightly. He caught her bottom lips between his teeth, and she bit down, causing him to grin. His lips traveled down, first her chin, then her neck, then her chest, until they reached the top of her bathrobe. His hands moved to untie it, and she felt his cold skin touch her as the garment slipped off. She felt his breath catch on her chest, and he moved downward. His hands were on her chest now. Dawn sighed, frozen for a moment as he kissed her, but then she was back. Grabbing his back, she moved her mouth to his neck. She ripped his shirt off, traveling downward. Her trembling fingers fumbled with the belt buckle, but he helped her, and soon it was off. She felt something hard against her knee, and inhaled sharply. He was holding her so tightly. He rolled so that she was on top of him, and she looked into his eyes. They were golden, blazing with passion. She pressed up against him, until their faces were inches from each other. Dawn leaned toward his mouth and felt him moving her into the right spot. Sighing, she closed her eyes and waited, but was surprised to feel his hands holding her off him.

"Hmm?" She murmured.

"Bit…" His voice was low. "Are you sure?" She looked into his eyes and saw that they were blue again. She wanted to keep going, but something was holding her back. Then she realized that he would really stop for her. She let the pressure off his arms, rolling off of him. Suddenly, she felt cold.

"No." She whispered, not believing that she had actually said it. But when she looked at him he didn't look disappointed.

"Okay, Dawn." He smiled, and she felt warmth return to her body. In that moment, she knew he would wait for her forever.


	12. Chapter 12

Dawn was sitting in an armchair, big, velvety, and ragged. She had taken a shower, and now she was wearing one of Spike's shirts her own underwear. He was out, telling Buffy everything, and trying to keep her away from Dawn for as long as possible. Dawn sighed and pulled back her hair, wishing he would come back. Her head was filled with thoughts and emotions. She had wanted more, and she didn't know why she had stopped. He was so warm, despite the frigid temperature of his skin. But she remembered the other vampire. She remembered his skin, colder than anything she'd ever felt. The way he'd touched her; she felt ashamed that she had enjoyed it. As if on cue, a presence was suddenly in the room, beside her. She felt a smooth hand run through her hair, and she shivered. A pale face appeared in front of her, and he sat down next to her.

"You left." He whispered into her ear, no breath coming from his mouth. Dawn felt the strong pull of attraction between them.

"Get away. He'll come back soon. He'll kill you." But she heard it in her own voice: a hint of regret. She felt his lips creep into a smile on her cheek.

"You don't want him to." She couldn't say anything that wasn't a lie.

"Why me?" She breathed as his mouth slid up her cheek.

"Because," he said in a voice barely audible, "You are strong enough."

"What do you mean?"

"You must have wondered why you're pregnant. You are the only one."

"How?" She felt a bitter taste in her mouth.

"You were born with it. Just as your sister was born to be a Slayer. You, the Key, are special. You give life to what can never be possible." He smiled and lifted her hair, his lips on the back of her neck.

"You. Why should I be with you? Why not another… vampire?"

"Because… You felt it too. From the minute you saw me. A spark. You're intoxicated." He chuckled against her neck.

It all made sense. Dawn knew what she was, what her purpose in the world was. She turned to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck. His grin widened, and he grabbed her legs, propping them on the armrests on either side of him. They kissed, lips connecting in a fiery clash. Dawn moved against him, rocking her body from side to side. His hands were around her waist, supporting her weight.

"He'll come." Dawn mumbled.

"I know. Let's go." He replied. He picked her up, and she clasped onto him, legs still around him as they moved together toward the tunnel leading to the vast underground. She lifted his shirt off, and then hers, and the mixture of their skin created a seething touch. They settled down in a corner, not too far from Spike's home, and Dawn felt her instincts guide her. Minutes later, she screamed in pleasure, her voice echoing off the dank walls.


End file.
